I am not running for office

Today the year 5s are on an excursion which means that MAYBE I will get to eat my food when it is hot in the staffroom! How exciting! Yesterday the lunch was again a bit dodgy, they seem to love the whole fish situation here, it comes out every second lunchtime. I always ask the kids "Do you eat the head on this fish?". Some you do, some you don't, best to make sure, don't wanna be eating any more fish heads than I need to. The woman who is the general office lady person (ie. does nothing) is always taking charge of the lunch dishing up scenario and lately has taken to making "helpful" comments about my method of dividing the food, or of laying out the trays, or whatever she can find to pick on. My general tactic with such people as her is to just ignore them completely and continue doing things my own way - a course of action that is particularly effective here because all social norms dictate that I should at least acknowledge that I've heard her if not adjust my actions accordingly. So when she says "That plate has more salad than the rest", I don't say anything and just keep doing what I'm doing whereas the other teachers she tries it on with are all "Oh really? Let me fix that up immediately, sorry, sorry, so sorry, sorry, I really can't be sorry enough. Golly gosh I am bad at this job aren't I! Thank you for pointing it out. Sorry again." Picture me rolling my eyes extravagantly in the back. Hilariously, and perhaps rather predictably, whenever she is in control of a serving spoon there are always bowls with heaps of rice in them and bowls with hardly any, and then she hands out the trays to people's desks herself to make sure her favourites get the most food. Clearly this is why I get a smaller portion everyday :) Office politics, huh?

There's some kind of English study going on in this school next year so in preparation for that they have suddenly decided that all the homeroom teachers need to be participating more in my classes. I am not so sure they need to. All it means is more work for me because I now have to explain what I will do in class to the teacher beforehand. They are always busy and I hate talking to people at work, so I have just printed out a heap of "English Lesson Outline" sheets and will just slip them love letters before their classes. I reckon they'll apreciate that more since they can hardly be expected to remember such small details about a class someone else will be conducting in 3 or 4 days time.

Last night I was at the Konko Hospital getting some blood taken (and getting the results back in only 20 minutes too!!) and ran into one of my year 4 students from Rokusho. She told me that she missed my English classes cos they were fun and that made me feel a little bit bettter about what I am doing here. I miss that school too, where no one ever looked over your shoulder, or made stupid jokes about your hairstyle, or any such stupidity.

Dusk

I had a bit of an odd weekend. Spent both Friday and Saturday night out having a few drinks. Saturday I went into a bar that I can neither pronounce or spell in Kurashiki and caught up with some work people. I've turned into a bit of a whiskey drinker lately and this place is great cos they put the whiskey on a rock. Just one big sqaure chunk of ice. I'm easily amused. But not so great was how they ran out of whiskey right after my first drink. ??? So I reluctantly switched to umeshuu (sake with plum). I decided to stay the night at someone's house rather than catch the last train back since I had to be in Kurashiki the next day for Spanish class anyway. I was feeling heaps dodgy the next day since I had been wearing the same clothes for well past their useby date, and had had little sleep. But the Spanish class was fun. Mostly older Japanese ladies so we were well provided with refreshments and snacks. The teacher is actually Spanish which is a relief. I was sitting next to a bloke from California but we only spoke in Japanese and Spanish the whole time, it was quite amusing! It was interesting and kind of refreshing being unable to understand what was going on around me, I quite liked it. Mostly at work I think I would be better off if I didn't understand what was going on too :) The classes only run every 2 weeks though so I will only get in about 4 lessons before I leave. Still, something to do.

This week the next month's teaching schedule starts, for which I need to print heaps of materials, but the only printer that will fit the thick game card in it is broken. SO typical! Anything that seems simple, never is. Speaking of which, I am just looking out the window at the year 3s on the oval while they all attempt to skip. Are all kids this unco? There are only about 2 of them getting it right, the rest are just whipping themselves in the legs repeatedly! Some of them probably deserve it though ;)

Oh yeah, I put in a picture of the view out of my kitchen windows just a little after the sun went down. I bought a new camera. Finally relented on the Digital SLR issue and I am not sorry about it. I spent all yesterday arvo playing around taking pics and it is so great to just be able to stuff about and if the picture doesn't work out, you can see it straight away and try again. Previously I was developing rolls of film all the time only to get one or two good shots out of it and at $15 a roll, that's expensive. I have been thinking about it for a while and then my neighbour got himself one and I was all green about it and thought, well what the hell is the point of doing all this dull work if I can't get something I want with the money I earn? Took a fair amount of this kind of self-dialogue to get myself to part with the money though! It was heaps funny at the shop though. I had already done heaps of research on the net over the latest cameras so I had a fairly good idea of what I wanted. I was having a scroll through the menu of one camera when the salesgirl who had been stalking me for the last 5 minutes finally got up enough courage to talk to me and the first thing she said was "I wouldn't recommend that camera." Oh? "Why not?" I ask, already preparing to be amused. "It doesn't take good pictures." Oh yes, this is the camera that Canon produce simply as an example of what NOT to do - how silly of me. What a stupid thing for her to say! I raised my eyebrows at this in indication that she should perhaps expand a little on her claim, but all she did was say "These ones are better" and gesture in the direction of some $2000 cameras with a bazillion megapixels and functions that I would never need. Right-o love, whatever. I ended up buying the camera that she didn't recommend. And you know, I think it takes pictures just fine! Plus I ended up getting a tripod, case, 512MB card and a filter into the bargain. Can't go wrong. Suffice to say, if the photos I take are shit, it's because I am a crap photographer, not because the camera is crap :)

Australia Day Bash

Well I am sure everyone is currently gathered around a BBQ listening to the JJJ countdown rather than reading this, and how jealous do you suppose I am about that? Today the school had some musicians come in and perform for the kids and tell them a few things about music and musical instruments. It was quite good really and I think the kids enjoyed it. Plus it meant two of my classes were cancelled! So this arvo I'm just going to get stuck into some prep for next week and then I'm off to the Aussie Bar in Okayama for some amber ale and hopefully some Aussie-esque conversation. One thing I decided today; all those who cannot clap in time with music depsite there being 306 others around them to act as an example should NOT be allowed to attend musical performances. I'm not sure what the bigger crime is, these people not noticing they are out of time, or not caring?

Anyway, celebratory blue text today; here's to the first steps for a regression to the White Australia Policy. CHEERS!! Here's to less artsy fartsy classes and more real classes in school. CHEERS!! Here's to Warney getting back with the wife. CHEERS!!

Japanese comedy strikes a chord

Last night I was watching this HILARIOUS tv show. Every week this group of comedians get up to all different stuff. One of the spots is where the men all dress up as ladies and go to the 100yen shop with a special guest (who is usually a real woman) and one by one they have to take something from a selection of items in front of them and buy it. If the item scanned comes up as anything but 100yen they lose. So there's maybe 10 items there, and one of them will be worth like 45,000yen rather than 100yen. The next spot they do is get all dressed up as insects, the men crickets, the 2 women bees (one of the men is a dung beetle and rolls in a giant ball of shit with his legs up in the air and says something every now and then) and perform ridiculous acts. This weeks one was The Shortest Skipping Rope. They had to take turns jumping through an increasingly short skipping rope. If they stuffed it up the women eat something really smelly, like garlic cloves, and breathe into a pipe onto their face. It's great. Last night they got down to a 5cm skipping rope!! I was laughing my arse off :) The funniest thing though is when they do the sooky lala early 20s man and his mum skit. This guy sits in his room all day playing computer games and his mum is always coming into his room to clean up (and apologise for disturbing him) and they always end up in a huge fight. Last night she came in and asked if she could play the game with him. He let her, but then she was really good at it and he freaked out and they had a fight. It's hard to explain why it's so funny if you haven't seen the way Japanese mothers treat their fully-grown-but-unable-to-look-after-themselves sons. Even funnier is the commentators they have calling the tension in the bedroom as it all escalates towards a fight. Yeah Wednesday nights are pretty ok for TV here.

Higashi Festival

Monday night I ate a few oysters but they really weren't floating my boat. I can't find Worchestershire sauce here and bacon is heaps expensive so I didn't do the Kilpatrick thing, just a bit of cheese or something. Meh, they weren't that yummy and pretty labour intensive and i was hungry so I just gave up and ate some bread instead.

Today there was a festival type arrangement here. Each of the classes had made games, like sideshows at the Royal Show, for us to play. I wandered about from room to room and did a few things, won a few origami prizes and so on. The year 6s had set up a ghost tunnel in the gym and some of the year 1s came out in tears! I just got sprayed with water (a lot) and walked into a lot of walls cos I couldn't see where I was going! Now I am sitting completely alone in the staffroom with no idea where everyone has gone and I really don't want to find out cos it might be that they are cleaning up or something and I'd rather just sit here :) Lazy git that I am.

Fire Fire

Sunday morning I was up at the crack of dawn and getting into my suit, doing my hair and other things that you normally not find me doing on a SUNDAY at all, let alone so early. WHY??? Well, I had to attend the Volunteer Firefighters Ceremony. Hirai picked me up, 2 other local foreigners were already in the car, and off we went to the huge completely underused hall in Yoroshima (a tiny town where nothing happens which leads me to believe the hall was built with dirty election money). 20 minutes later our suits are covered up by a massively oversized, thick, heavy traditional firefighting jacket, a navy blue bowlers hat, white cotton gloves and a sash proclaiming that we are Asaguchi City International Representatives finishes the look. We look five kinds of ridiculous but the 6 strangers crammed into the office with us watching us change tell us we look "cool". Yeah right. We had not one but TWO TV cameras shoved in our faces while we sat on the couch waiting fo rthe ceremony to start. We were exchanging varius smart arse comments and attemtping to avoid having our faces caught on camera the whole time. They don't even ask, or introduce themselves, they just start filming! Then an extremely nervous reporter from local TV came in and asked us some very stupid questions like "What is your impression of the firefighter's ceremony?" to which I replied "Well, we haven't seen it yet have we?" and she backed off fairly quickly. Mean, perhaps, but come ON it was way too early in the morning to put up with that kind of stupidity. Then the wives of a couple of the official type dudes came in and started taking pictures of us. Somehow conversation turned to my experience with crime in my house and the older ladies said that it was "Just beacuse you are so pretty, everyone wants to have a look at you" What?? Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is it supposed to be a compliment? And it is also kind of insinuating that if I am goodlooking I should expect, and deserve that kind of attention. Oh yes I am so flattered that a cretin with a penchant for ladies underwear has chosen me as his amour.

Anyway, after those few comments we were ushered upstairs and onto the stage and placed into seats on the second row on the right side of the stage. The left side was also set up wth seats which filled up with various old men dressed in ill fitting navy blue uniforms, some with a rather alarming amount of gold braiding hanging off their shoulders. One bloke, the BIG VIP, even had a couple of bodyguards with him! We foreigners were introduced basicaly straigtht away and had to stand up and salute (which I "forgot" to do). We then had to turn and face the Japanese flag and sing the national anthem. Have you ever heard the Japanese anthem? It is very somber and a bit like someone's funeral and in the end it kind of just trails off like applause at a half arsed show. Weird. Then all the handing over of awards and so on started. It was SO dull. Everytime somone got up to talk or to present an award (which there seemed to be a million of) they would have to bow to both sides of the stage, bow to the flag and then start talking, and when returning, the whole procedure in reverse. Ridiculous. One funny thing was how some of the older guys would try and do the official feet turning thing like they were soldiers on parade or something. But they clearly were unused to it and being fat had poor balance so they would swivel around and wobble like a gymnast who isn't going to get a medal, huffing and puffing. Another funny thing was how they all kept falling asleep! At least we weren't the only ones to find it boring.

An hour and a half later it was all over and we were allowed to leave the stage (supposing our legs could still work). On the way back to the small office where we had started this whole charade out we were handed a bag witha largish foam box in it that was quite heavy. We were told that it contained "kaki". Now kaki can mean either "persimmon" or "oysters". I translated it as persimmon because frankly it never crossed my mind that they would give us a box of oysters. But boy did I get a surprise when I opened the box at home! About 2 dozen oysters, as big as my hand! This should be a good thing Iguess, because oysters are expensive and all that, but I have NO idea how to cook them. As I was getting out of the car Hirai went to great pains to explain that we must COOK the kaki. At the time I thought it was odd because cooking persimmon seemed odd... but cooking oysters - I thought you ate them raw too? I put them all in my fridge and thought about it for a few hours. Eventually I decided to have a crack at getting one open - no luck there. So I shoved it under the grill for a while and it cracked open. I thought that it might made me sick if it wasnt cooked properly, but THEN I thought that if it did make me sick I could get the Monday off of work... so I ate it :) I was fine, clearly, but have left the rest of them in the fridge. Today I'm going to look up a way to make them taste better on the internet and have a feast tonight.

So not your average weekend!