I go on a school excursion to the park

Firstly, excursions should involve more chocolate. If you are not taking the kids to a chocolate factory there should be at least two points during the day when you all just sit down and eat a nice chunk it. Then I wouldn't have to sneak it while no one was looking.

Secondly, there should also be a limit to the number of consecutive minutes an adult who has not chosen to study education at uni should be allowed to be in direct contact with kids. Sure it was all fun and games while they were trying to trip me over on the way to the park. And it was fabulously amusing when they were using me as a climbing pole and a merri-go-round at the park. But by the time they were trying to get sympathy out of me for the many and various cuts and bruises they had rather clumsily acquired throughout the day I was all out of patience for it. Why can't they just walk a straight line? And why, if they find the Smelly Dog so smelly, do they have to stop and peer over the fence at it for five minutes? And why do they have to stop to pick weeds and put them in their backpacks?

So all things considered it was good to get out of the school, but the whole thing was somewhat dampened by the presence of 199 demented kids. All I can say is, anyone who chooses to go into primary school teaching as a profession must be bonkers. You are constantly have to come up with ways to divert them and get them to shut up. I really don't have the patience for it, not that that was something I didn't already know, and I am very glad that most days I am just the English teacher not a Real Teacher.

But the day did end on a high note with one of the teachers arranging a day for a "welcome party" for me (in name only, let's face it, I have been here for a month now). It will involve drinking and since it is a work party it will get extremely rowdy but of course, whatever happens will never be discussed again. Excellent, I can't wait.