C'mon, move a little! It's MUSIC

Yesterday I drank 3.26L of Yebisu. That is a beer in case you are wondering, not natural spring water. The consequence of such indulgence was me seated in front of the TV abusing the various dippy hosts and guests of the awful Japanese "variety" show. It wasn't easy to find points about which to abuse them. One show was "let's look back at singers of the 70s and 80s and show them how horrid they looked in sequined kimonos." Horrid is the only word for it. Or, maybe horrendous might describe it equally. So far as I can tell, the basic formula for being a popstar back in the day in Japan was to dress with an excess of shoulder pads and sequins if you are a woman, or dress in a black suit if you are a man, assume an incredibly unnatural pose and hold the microphone as if you expect it to explode at any moment. Also, moving your feet is illegal, as is movement of any kind below the shoulders. The face should always have a painful looking fake "indulgence" smile on it if you are a woman, but should never change from "I am trying really hard not to cry" if you are a man. During instrumentals it is best to just stand there, arms limp at your side with a far away look in your eyes (or even better, just close them and pretend to be so touched by the music and lyrics that you might be reduced to tears). My god they were BORING! And none of these now aging stars seemed particularly bothered by how dull their performances were. All of them had the screen appeal of a used tea bag and frankly nothing much has changed. Do they realise how DULL they are? What happened to their personalities? Did they trade them for the path to success? I think they should have opted to sacrifice their souls, at least it would make TV slightly more exciting.