Desperate need of mood stabilisers

There must be something in the air around here that is making everybody moody. Perhaps it is the heat, although it isn't really that hot yet. Or maybe I am just projecting my moods onto everyone else. The kids in grade 6 were heaps quiet today, like they are practicing for junior high when they will learn to sit in silence and passively resist every attempt their teachers make to get a response out of them. Two of them got a talking to by Moriya sensei and they then had to come back in and practice their speech with me individually. Then in grade 5 the really loud kid got told to shut up by the homegroup teacher, which he did for the rest of the lesson with teary eyes. Considering that it is so hard to get most Jap kids to say anything louder than a whisper I wouldn't be discouraging the loud ones, but then I am not Japanese am I! I might have a word to him later about approriate use of the loud voice so he doesn't think that he has to be quiet all the time now. All the kids are heaps hot and cold in general. One minute they are jumping around all smiles, the next they are sitting with their head on their knees looking for all the world like they have taken a shot of valium and have been told that smiling will cause a bomb to detonate under their family home. I don't know what to do with that, I have enough trouble manipulating myself out of the shits enough to get excited about singing the Hello Song everyday.

Today is my dedicated Hate Japan Day. For the most part it is in my best interests to look only on the bright side of life during my here. This is supposed to prevent me from slinking into the depths of depression and jumping on the next plane home after screaming nonsensical abuse at the Japanese in general, a phenomenon that occurs occasionally among Westerners who come to live in Japan. But one day each month I give up my pretence of tolerance and patience and cheerfulness and rue the day I ever set foot in a country that fails to satisfy my soul on so many levels. One day of indulgence in self pity seems to be outlet enough for me to continue the rest of the month without becoming overly frustrated by the many cultural differences that can create a build up of tension. So today I allow myself to hate my job, the inept driving, the cold lunch, the fucking huge bugs, the lack of blue sky and the fake smiles I receive from my boss. Tomorrow, and for the rest of the month, I will not care about these things.