I have moved

http://www.takeanumbrella.blogspot.com Here's my new blog - the adventures continue in Australia...

So I fibbed...

Here is another post. Probably a pointless post since owing to my calling hte previous post The End, most of you will have stopped checking this site! But today's, yesterday's situations have been too good not to gripe about in a public manner. As you all know I set off for Adelaide from Seoul at 5am yesterday morning. I spent a good part of my day sitting in buses, planes and my favourite, airport terminals. Indeed I spent a little bittoo much time sitting in airport terminals it turns out since I missed my connecting flight to Adelaide in Singapore. Boarding for the flight out of Osaka was an hour late owing to ithaving been hit by lightning while landing earlier on. Yes, the pilot was very informative indeed, even went so far as to explain in great detail what damage exactly had been caused and how the engineers "seem to think it won't be a problem". Hmm, hurtling through the air at 5000feet or how ever high it is, at 1000kmph - I think I want a little bit more than "don't seem to think"!! Off we go though, and it turns out that even a lightning bolt can do little to keep a 747 on the ground. I had 3 seats to myself and managed to watch 3 movies and worry about missing my connecting flight at the same time for 6 hours. Turns out I was justified in worrying since I missed my flight by 1 minute or so and was put on a flight to Sydney instead. From there, i was told, I could catch a flight to Adelaide at 10:30am and be only 4 hours later than orginally planned. Funny, it's now 1:30pm and I am still in the Sydney domestic terminal eating sandwiches so expensive I expect at any moment to crack a tooth on the diamond studded lettuce and reading magazines about millionaires who have probably never eaten an entire piece of bread let alone a sandwich in their lives. How sick of this do you think I am then? All that we need now is for this next flight to also be delayed - have a tree fall on it, trip on it's own shoelace or some such and my homeward trek will be perfectly disastrous.

Well no, let's look on the bright side; I am yet to either lose or have stolen any of my valuables! Just let me be home already!!!!

The End

Well here we are. The final word. My apartment is empty, my bags are packed (or very soon will be) and I have bid everyone I have never met at the Board of Education and the City Hall farewell. I am leaving. Let's have some fanfare or something! So I will make this my last blog entry. Tomorrow it doesn't seem likely that I will get internet access and then I am off to Korea for 5 days. Thanks to everyone who was reading - I hope I didn't bore you too much! God knows that most of the time my life over here has seemed a drag even to me. Daily life is the same anywhere, in Adelaide, in Japan, in Paris - life is just life. Living overseas isn't day after day of excitement and being overwhelmed by new things and feeling like you are on an adventure. It's just like home - there are a lot of average days and a few tops ones, and a few bad ones. Simply the act of being overseas is not excitement in itself. It can be, but home can also be exciting too. Enjoying life is less about where you are and more about who you have surrounded yourself with. I enjoy life a lot in Adelaide because I enjoy the company of the people I know there. With the right people a tiny town out the back of Burke could be a tops place to live I reckon.

On that note, here endith the diatribe and the blog.

3 days to go

Last night I went over to the Yamamoto's place for dinner. They were my host fmaily the very first time that I came to Kamogata in high school. Their daughters were both still away, but their son came home from work at about 9pm. It was a really fun night. I just kind of ft into their family dynamic really well, it is just heaps easy to make conversation with them. Usually I feel very awkward and out of place when I go to Japanese people's houses because they never let me do anything, I just have to sit there like the Queen while they fuss around me. This family just treats me like a member and so I get to be more comfortable. Our sense of humour matches too, which helps a lot! I should have caught up with them more while I was here. The father gave me a few stamps out of his collection, I got to pick the ones I liked the most. I am now in possession of the daggiest stamps you have ever seen - they made me laugh so much I was crying.

Today I have to go and greet the Mayor and say goodbye. I will also be required to make up something about how much I enjoyed my time here and how lovely it is to be a teacher here. Better go and work on that then I guess, it's hard to lie convincingly!

In response to a query

One of my readers asks, "So what do you do with yourself now?"

Let me give you an account of my day so far;

08:03 - Arrive at work and discover my desk covered with random papers and a large wall hanging, assume everyone believes I have left the country already and wonder if it's possible I can just sneak back out of the staffroom and escape on the misconception.
08:04 - Too late I've been spotted by the vice-principal.
08:05 - Stamp my name in the attendance book. Note the 3 remaining empty places before I get to never see the thing again. Smile.
08:05 - 09:18 - Sit at my desk and stare at various objects. Possibly I am trying to levitate them, even I am not sure what I am doing at this point.
09:19 - 10:10 - Recover what's left of my senses, pull out a book and switch to staring at that for a while, at least this way it appears I am actually doing something besides practicing for a gig as the I Fell in a Paint Can Statue Busker in Rundle Mall.
10:11 - Am interacted with for a few moments by the head teacher who asks me to hang the pile of crap that was on my desk earlier and is now lying on the ground by the coffee maker in the English room. I nod eagerly in reply. The picture was filed under my desk where it will be about as appreciated as if it were hanging in the English room.
10:12 - I tire of pretending to read and decide to pull a laptop out of the cupboard, put it on my desk and make a start of translating the English Curriculum book into English.
10:17 - I tire of translating and instead look up "solipsism" on the internet. Wikipedia is a great time waster cos it has all those little blue links everywhere and in no time at all I am off on the biggest tangent since year 10 maths.
10:34 - Receive e-mail from a CIR at another school asking me to check if my school has an MD player capable of recording MD to MD. It does. He says he'll come by at 11:30ish and use it. I say OK.
11:14 - I am pulled out of my digestion of Sarte's biography by the arrival of my co-worker looking for the MD player. Thangod cos reading computer screens really hurts my eyes and my butt is getting pretty numb despite at least standing and walking around aimlessly every 30 minutes.
11:15 - 12:05 - We watch the MD player copy music and dance to the Hokey Pokey and Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes songs while our Japanese co-workers' fingers hover over the Mental Hospital button in their quick dial.
12:06 - I ask for permission to go to the bank and a granted it by my very distracted vice principal who is pulling bits and bobs out of the photocopier that I really don't think it's wise to touch. Off I go, how excitement, an excursion off school grounds!
12:17 - At the bank, brandishing my inkan and this time I am allowed to empty my bank account finally. The woman at the desk and I exchange glances, we had words yesterday about the necessity of a stamp with my name on it for accessing my money, a stamp I might add, that ANYONE can simply take out of my drawer and march around using. A stamp that anyone can have a likeness of made at any stamp shop. Yes, it's a foolproof identity verifier alright. She's still pissed at me for questioning her system.
12:20 - I start the walk back to school laden with a stack of banknotes about as thick as your average novel. I ponder just jumping on the train to Okayama and spending up a storm but then remember that I can't fit into any of the clothes or shoes they sell here and there are only so many books one can buy before the necessity of owning a car becomes apparent. I continue back to school.
12:21 - It starts raining.
12:25 - It starts REALLY raining.
12:38 - I am back at school with wet hair and a more than strong desire for the return of yesterdays clear blue skies and brilliant sunshine. I discover my co-workers all slurping 2 minute noodles and watching the baseball on a 20 year old TV hung from the ceiling at the back of the room.
12:45 - I finish off my sandwich and yoghurt and wonder for the millionth time how people who really are not eating any better than me can manage to stay so thin.
12:46 - I resume my Wikipedia digestion because there is simply nothing else to do.

And the end of the day is still 4 hours away...

Last Day of School - for the kids

This morning we had an assembly for the last day of school. The principal gave a little speech about looking after yourself during the break and not getting run over by cars and stuff. At the end of his speech he was supposed to say a few words about me and that was my cue to walk up on stage to give my speech. But he completelyl forgot about me! He just finished up on his flu talk and walked off, the head teacher had to make him go back up on stage and introduce me. I made a short speech thanking the kids for all the letters they wrote me last week and goodbye and goodluck. Then a year 5 kid came up as a representative of the school and read out a farewell letter to me and handed it over. As far as I can see the assembly is the only thing on the agenda for school today, they all go home at 11:40am. Until then they just stuff around I guess, get their reports. I'd forgotten all about grades, report day used to be my favourite day at school. That's just because I was a bit of a swot in high school though. It soon wore off after I started uni though!

So today is the 1 year anniversary of my arrival in Japan... This time a year ago I was probably struggling up any one of the seemingly endless flights of stairs installed in train stations specifically to annoy baggage ladden foreigners. In 5 days time I am facing the exact same struggle in reverse. It will come as no surprise to you all that I am very eager to be out of here. But there are some things I will miss about this place. The first thing that jumps to mind is the lack of spiders and creepy crawlies here. I have not seen a single spider inside my house since I arrived! I have had tiny flying insects and the occasional alarmingly huge cockroach and have had one Jesus Bug living in my bath. But on the whole, a very peaceful existence on the unwanted house guests front. Another thing would be the cheap and abundant ice cream - seriously I will not be able to pay $3.50 for an ice cream at home after paying only 70c here! I will miss the clean, prompt train service (although not paying for it), the most extensive recycling system I've ever encountered and the 100yen Shop - Daiso. Man, we really need Daiso in Oz. You can buy just about anything you need from there, for only a dollar. All my towels, crockery, cutlery, toiletries, cleaning products, everything that usually costs way more than you think necessary, you can get for cheap at the Daiso. The $2 shop is like a beggar's garage sale compared to the Daiso.

I will miss my mates down in Hiroshima. Perhaps if I had lived a little closer it would have been a funner year. I always have a good time with them and especially now that my Japanese is good we can actually have real conversations now. I will miss speaking Japanese, and being surrounded by it. Although sometimes it annoys me with it's fussy rules, there are many times when the first word that pops into my head for a situation is Japanese, because it's simply more economical than English. For example rather than saying "Did you eat?" I can just say "Tabeta?" Three words in one, easy :) Having said that it will be nice to get back to an English speaking environment and stymie the first language attrition that has reduced my speech to garbled sentences full of hesitations and gaping holes where a very good word I used to know would ordinarily go. Seems a bit of a waste to become so proficient and then just put it all on the shelf, but short of becoming a high school Japanese teacher (yuck), or spending more time in Japan (yuck) there's not much I can do about that. Plenty of other langauges to learn anyway!

It's just not quite right, but a fair effort...

The milk which had just been squeezed was made to ferment carefully, and the strong cheese of the taste was completed.

Bag me a bag

Haha, seems everyone was quite amused by the photo of my co-workers! The dude standing on my left is Mizukawa Sensei and quite a tops bloke. He is heaps laid back and likes to talk about real stuff rather than just how good my chopstick skills are. He suggested that we all make silly faces for the photo and I guess the only person who took him seriously was himself... My principal does have a largish head doesn't he! Speak of the devil, he's just come out to gaze about in here for a few moments. I swear he does absolutely nothing, just like me then! But perhaps a little more concerning because he is supposed to be running the school. He isn't a very hands on principal. At some schools they get involved in everything and run around with the kids at lunch and so on. This bloke just sits in his office and sighs when he has to leave it!

This evening I am going to jump on a train to Hiroshima and have a night out with some mates down there, the last opportunity for fun before I leave this country for good. If there is one thing the Japanese do well, it is bags. They have a million different types of bags here, well made ones too, leather in all sorts of colour, not just boring old black and brown like you seem to get in Oz. I have been keeping a look out for one for months but the stars just never aligned for me. If I find one that I really love, I am not in the mood for spending that much money on a bag, if I am in the mood, I can't find one that I love! Might be better off leaving it for Seoul actually, something tells me the Koreans will have plenty of bag action happening too. It's a bit hard to explain, the Japanese obsession with bags. I mean, in Oz everyone carries handbags too after all. But here it just seems a bit more like a hobby rather than simply an easier way to cart your shit around. It is not uncommon to see a girl walking around with 2 or 3 largish (in my opinion) bags hanging off her arm. And rather than hold the straps of the bag in their hand, they will bend their arm and make a hook out of it and hang the bags from it. I have no idea what they are carrying in these bags or why they need to be so big, but they just often are ridiculously over-bagged (that is totally a word). One problem seems to be that they don't believe in backpacks. They are fine if you are going backpacking, or are a school child, but it seems that women my age, just on their way to work, do not use backpacks - not stylish enough. Granted most women my age on their way to work are wearing a suit and tottering on high heels and stockings, not a look complimented by a backpack. But even when I was at uni here, all my Japanese friends would be dragging around heavy bags, dangling them off their arms, knocking about their legs - it's not very practical. It's not just real bags either, they love a shopping bag and will re-use it again and again, just to put their green tea bottle in, or their umbrella when they go out. I should point out that shopping bags here are not plastic rustlers like at home, they are full on glossy cardboard numbers with cord handles. I have a cupboard full of them at home because whenever someone gives you something it must be in such a bag. The more prestigious the name on the bag, the better too. Someone who has never been overseas in her life once gave me a peach in a Harrods bag. I would have been happy to stick the peach in my backpack!

Well, that became quite long winded didn't it! It's the small differences.

My Co-workers

Engrish

Here's an amusing item Miss BV and I found while she was here. We ate at an Italian place called, rather predictably, Mario's. At Mario's they had pizza which looked half decent in the window display (or should I say harf decent?) but turned out to be absolute rubbish and we had to turn out evening into an impromptu progressive dinner, filling up at another restaurant. We did get a Harf & Harf pizza, one side red, one side white. I cannot wait to get back to Australia and have a real pizza! There is way too much corn on Japanese pizza, and nowhere near enough cheese.

The Japanese have no problem with "r". They have many of them in their own language. The reason why they stuff it up in English though is because they can't say "l". In this case it's pretty obvious what's happened, the l in half just sounds like an r to them. But sometimes you get an l where there should be an r and you wonder about that. Usually this is because they have just overcompensated for their difficulty in hearing the difference and just guessed an "l". So I get stuff like, "Plesantation" sometimes. It's heaps cute.

Bow

Yesterday was the Spring Equinox - that's a day off. Tuesday night I had a couple of people over to my house for drinks by way of a farewell event. I made spaghetti and garlic bread (found the aluminium foil up the back of the cupboard so it didn't burn this time!) and drank an entire bottle of Yellowstone Chardonnay... and a few other items too. But all things considered I was feeling pretty tops on Wednesday morning. Did some cleaning and reading and then in the arvo I had a siesta in the sun streaming in through my lounge window! A cat's life.

On Monday night I went with another CIR to his house for dinner and to play some game called Guitar Hero. It was heaps of fun but unfortunately I didn't really know many of the tunes on the game - the did have some Franz Ferdinand though. Anyway, on the way home we stopped at an optical store to purchase a pair of sunnies that R's girlfriend had coveted last time they were there. He knew which ones they were and we basically marched in, pointed at a pair of sunnies and said "These ones!". There were about 5 employees at this shop, all doing nothing, so they all jumped up and started running about looking after us. We got to sit down at a little table, R had to choose a case for the sunnies, decide about a warranty, whether he wanted gift wrapping, what colour gift box he wanted, they also wanted to fit the sunnies to his face (even though they were clearly women's style) and I had to point out that they were a gift which started the gift wrapping commotion. Then when we thought it was about to be wrapped up, so to speak, they brought out tea for us! They were still figuring out the warranty card so we had to wait a bit longer and they spent that time fussing about the bag to put it all in and sticking gold shiny labels with their shop name all over it. Finally they had everything sorted and we left to a chorus of ARIGATOGOZAIMASU! and some serious bowing action. They even followed us to the doors of the shop and stood there bowing some more as we walked out into the carpark. It was a HUGE fuss of the kind I imagine you never see in Adelaide shops unless you march into Max Mara and purchase the entire line.

In Japan there are lots of different bows. The most common, the one that happens in general conversation everywhere is the little head nod. The shoulders don't really move that much, it's just the head bobbing up and down. The next step would be a head and shoulder bob, but not leaning right over, just as though you have bad posture. That one happens when the school gets a random visitor, or you meet a kids parent outside of school. The next step is The Bow. That's when someone actually "important" comes along. That means you bow from the middle, your back stays straight, head down and you're really supposed to take your hands out of your pockets. You don't see this one very often. Sometimes in assembly, at the Board of Education, but even there they are pretty casual these days it would seem. At the glasses shop we got The Bow.

Congrats

Today is the Year 6 Graduation Ceremony. It's all a bit chaotic over here with people running all over the place frantically. So I decided to just sit here and look at stuff on the internet...

***

Here I am several hours later still surfing the net... No I haven't been doing that the whole time! The ceremony kicked off at 10 and finished an hour and a half later. There were thankfully no tears. The teachers seemed just relieved rather than sad to be seeing this bunch of kids off. The ceremony itself was very stiff and dull. A rather long speech by the principal made it slightly excrutiating, he is a man of many words but with little to say. All the parents came dressed up inthe same black garb as the kindy kids' parents last week. Same bunch of flowers pinned to their jackets. 2 mums were dressed in kimono but the rest all looked like mourners. I don't understand why they feel the need to dress in black. It is possible to appear formally dressed in something a bit more cheerful than head to toe black! Everyone must be in uniform it would seem. After the ceremony there was a lot of standing around of course, a staff photo - one of my eyes is half closed in it because of the sun and I look like I have some kind of palsy. Finally it is lunchtime and there is much organising to do - biscuits to be handed out, tea to be made. Finally everything is ready, but no one will sit down and eat, they are all faffing about waiting for the tea and miso soup to get cold. Nothing irks me more about eating in Japan than the whole waiting for everyone else to start eating habit. There are a lot of things that irk me, but that is the most annoying by far, primarily because it ensures that I never have a hot meal.

After lunch I took a book to the English room and have been reading ever since. But my bum went numb from sitting on the cold floor so I came back to the staffroom to warm it up. A job that is too busy is certainly a hassle sometimes, but there is nothing more likely to induce depression and life ennui than a job that is too slow. It just leaves way too much time for self reflection and thinking in general. If I must be at work, let me be run off my feet, the time goes much faster that way.

Are you even here?

The count down begins in earnest now. Only 9 more school days left until I am officially doing NOTHING AT ALL for an as yet undetermined period of time! I'm very much looking forward to not having to be at work every day, and not even having a point at which I have to return :) I'm sure in a few months time when I am broke I might feel differently about that, but how many times do you get to truly do nothing like that in a life?

This weekend I went out to Okayama on Saturday to visit the library and get a few volumes to keep me company while I am at school this week. Trouble being that I already read most of them yesterday! Oops. In the evening I had arranged to meet up with a girl whose travel books I had borrowed months ago and return them. Turns out she, and a bunch of other foreigners, were going out for dinner to celebrate someone's birthday. I tagged along to have a chat and catch up with a certain Sydney-sider. After a dinner during which I endured such scintillating conversation as "How to identify skim milk" we left to wander seemingly aimlessly for half an hour before they all decided to go to karaoke. I excused myself there because I had run into my neighbour and some more interesting people going elsewhere and wanted to catch up with them. Very relieved to be leaving the group I had dined with because they make a great spectacle of themselves wherever they go. The way these people choose to live in Japan is very different from what I know. They make no effort to learn the language and just speak English unashamedly at people, they cling to each other for no reason other than that there is no one else around. I have no interest in making friends with people based only upon the fact that they speak the same language as me. A dickhead is a dickhead in their native land, or here. If you need evidence of the fact that they simply tolerate each other so they can kid themselves into thinking they have friends, just consider how quickly the group crumbles every time there is something to be organised. There is a kind of association or some such set up by JET which is supposed to help the foreigners adjust to Japan and keep each other company, they organise such things as trips to Mt Fuji and so on. Initially I was a little bit jealous that they had such support and just something to do. But I soon revised that thought after hearing all the bitching and moaning that inevitably follows every outing.

Saturday night I just felt embarrassed to be seen in such a large group of foreigners who were doing everything they could to perpetuate the stereotypes of gaijin that I have been trying to break the whole time I've been here. No wonder the teachers at school STILL don't believe that I can read their alphabet when most of the foreigners around here actually can't. Sunday arvo I was at the travel agent paying for my ticket to Seoul (YAY!) and an American walked in and announced loudly, in English, that he wanted a ticket to the USA. He wasn't a tourist, he lives in Okayama, and yet something as basic as asking about a plane ticket, he can't manage it. To me learning the language of the country you live in is as important as following the laws of that country. Living in Japan for an entire year and being unable to say a single sentence at the end of it is simply lazy and disrespectful. If you cannot speak the language how can you even say you were living here? Anyway, the evening was just a bit of an eye-opener for me about how many foreigners really do just bring an Australia/America/Canada/England bubble with them, blow it up on the day they arrive and never step out into the real Japan.

Moving along... Sunday wasn't planning on going back in to Okayama but I received a letter from the travel agent confirming my reservation for my ticket and asking for money, since I can't get in there this week at all I decided to just get it out of the way straight away. Luckily I hadn't used my return ticket the night before because there is never anyone checking the tix when you get off the last train so I just kept it and used it again! JR is such a rip off you take whatever opportunity you can to get a free ride. I went back to the travel agent where I'd sorted my flights for Australia out to see what was going on and they STILL can't tell me how much it's going to be. It's such bullshit, it is now less than 3 weeks before I fly and they are still saying that it's too early to pay for the flight because they don't know how much it's going to be and the "taxes are still fluctuating" or some crap. How do people organise a holiday if they can't pay for it until the week before they go? It's just plain weird.

On my way back through the station I stopped at Anderson's Bakery for a little yummy roll they make and a quite peculiar thing happened. I was just sitting there minding my own business when an African bloke asked me if anyone was sitting opposite me. I said no, so he put his bags down and said he'd be back in a second. Off he went to the Jupiter (foreign food store), he came back, handed me an apple juice carton and the newspaper, sat down and we started talking. It was a very strange experience our behaviour was as though we had known each other for a while. We spoke only intermittently, I was reading the paper the whole time, and yet it wasn't uncomfortable when it was quiet. Generally I hate meeting and talking to new people because of that uncomfortable silence that inevitably creeps in after a few minute of exchanging the usually information about oneself. After 15 minutes or so we both stood up and left.

It's Friday again

Have a great weekend everyone! It's my second to last weekend in Japan and I am doing NOTHING :)

Some flowers

It's not often you receive flowers so I thought I should celebrate it by posting it here. These were given to me by the kindy kids at the end of their graduation party. It's a pretty odd mix of flowers I think - but then not having received bunches of flowers in the past I guess I wouldn't really be the one to judge! Anyway, they are currently brightening up the kitchen in a way that dirty dishes can't.

Today I have my last English class in Japan. Year 5s. That means that of the 9 hours I am at school I will only be actually working 45 minutes! Wacky-do. And next week I am here for a grand total of 45 hours without actually working a single one. Might have to visit the library in Okayama and get a fair few reading materials out I reckon. On Wednesday my year 3 class gave me letters they had written thanking me for teaching them through the semester. Some of them were heaps vanilla and probably copied off each other, but others were heaps funny. It's good to get feedback from the kids on paper I think because they aren't standing up in front of the class and thus are more likely to say what they are actually thinking about it all. One kid said that she hated English last year but now she loves it and will work harder next year so she can get really good. A lot of them noted that in the beginning they couldn't say "ambulance" but by the end they could and they were happy about that - but they all wrote the word "ambulance" in Japanese script, so spelt phonetically, and they all had obviously heard a different pronunciation because they all spelt it differently which was interesting.

Congratulations, you're 6

Yesterday I attended the kindy graduation ceremony. It started at 9:30am and lasted for over an hour. The kids had to go up one by one and receive their certificate from the principal and then walk to the back and hand the paper to their mum who rolled it up and put it straight into a tube they had all brought for that purpose. The mums were all crying, and soon afterwards teh kids were all crying too. One boy cried, no, he was hysterically wailing for the entire ceremony. Through all the speeches you could just hear this one kid hicupping and choking and carrying on like a 2 bob watch. It is pretty insane when you consider that in less than a month they will all be starting school just over the road with the exact same classmates! And what, exactly, have they achieved anyway? They just got older. Let's not waste 4 hours of my day because some kids got older.

Everyone was dressed all in black like it was a funeral or something, and had big flower arrangements pinned to them. I had to wear my suit even though all I did was sit there. After the ceremony was finished all the guests went into a big room and had coffee and cake - I was shuffled off to the staffroom where I sat alone in front of a cup of coffee I couldn't drink for 20 minutes. Finally they came and said that it was time for photos. We all lined up, the kids, the parents, the teachers, everyone in the one photo. They love a good group photo I tell you what! I then managedto escape back to school for an hour but had to go back at 12 for lunch. They had prepared bento boxes for all of us. For 2 hours I sat and listened to the parents banging on at each other about their kids. Finally they started wrapping things up and speeches were made, I had to say something, and they gave us flowers and a present which I discovered later was a photo album. It was such a fuss over nothing!

Well, if that was the kindy graduation, I hate to see what the year 6 graduation will be like next week!

A resolution to a mystery

Saturday night I have a return of my wannabe burglar. This time I turn my light on and call my upstairs neighbour. Thankfully he answers and jumps up immediately and runs outside to investigate. I fully expected the intruder to be gone, scared off by the light, but my neighbour discovers him still standing in front of my window, hands in pockets as though contemplating something. He recognises him as one of the teachers from a school I have taught at this year and calls out "Sensei!" to him at which point said sensei runs off. Neighbour gives chase, probably behind him by about 15 metres or so and calling out to the teacher by name to stop. They run for about 500 metres I guess before sensei disappears up a narrow alley or somesuch and my neighbour doesn't want to follow cos it is pretty dark and he doesn't know the area at all. But he has seen his face and knows for sure who it was. At the time all this is going on I am running around the house perimeter trying to find my neighbour who had yelled for me to get outside before he gave chase.

Eventually my neighbour returns, puffing, and tells me the name of the troublemaker. We are both heaps surprised and shocked at who it is. I am tempted to call the police immediately but my neighbour thinks we are better off giving this bloke a chance to sort his shit out privately. If we tell the police he will lose his job and never be able to find another one. This teacher is in all other respects, a nice guy. So we call his mobile, which he of course doesn't answer, and we leave a few angry messages (we are pretty riled up what with all the action) requesting that he call us back and meet us tomorrow morning to discuss this or we will tell the police. We go back to bed (not for sleep in my case) and wait for the morning.

Come 9am Sunday morning there has been no phone call. I decide to go the police and am just leaving the house when my neighbour calls. We discuss the options and what to do for a while. We drive around the area where we know this teachers lives and look for his car. We leave another message asking him to call us. My neighbour says let's leave it til 11am and then if he doesn't call we'll tell the cops. (The reason for so much hesitation on our part about telling the cops is more than just the hassles it will cause our crim, but the hassles it will cause for us - or more particularly my neighbour. The police here are very distrustful of gaijin who don't come from white western countries and will likely not believe my neighbour, or at least cause him heaps of hassle by coming to his school and questioning him a lot. He had one such experience once when he witnessed a car accident and wasn't keen to repeat it. Plus there was the concern that the cops would do nothing at all). At about 10:30 my neighbour gets a call from sensei; Help me please. We agree to meet at 11am in the carpark of our apartment. From there we drive to a nearby restaurant and sit in a secluded area. At this point I am feeling quite like laughing because it's so like a bad movie. We are sitting, the three of us, in the booth of a smokey diner with morose expressions on - we could be about to rob the joint. I leave all the talking to my neighbour and he does a good job. The sensei explains why he was at my window - an explanation which seems a little dubious upon reflection but which I will take because I don't want to think about the alternatives. I won't elaborate here because who knows who is reading this. Needless to say, it will provide for a good story when I return home!

The thing was resolved anyway. Sensei won't be coming to my window any more and he is contrite as all hell. Just another weekend in sleepy Kamogata town!

Sunday's pondering material

If you had a lovely work colleague, a person who is well respected, who is great at their job, who participates in many extra curricular activities that help many many people what would you do if you discovered they were committing a crime that, if exposed, would mean the end of their employment and employability - forever?

This is the conundrum I am facing today.

Wax on wax off

Little footsies.

It's waxing day here and the kids are all barefoot in the classrooms running up and down with cloths to get the boards clean. It's about 10 degrees - if that were me my toes would already be frostbitten!

Here's one of my year 4 classes;

Social society

Another week draws to a close. I now have 3 weeks left of work. The time seems to be passing both quickly and slowly. Something to do with relativity I'm sure. I remembered this morning something that happened to me a few weeks ago. I was walking home from school on a gloomy day and it started to rain very very lightly. A car pulled up in front of me and a woman hopped out and began waving an umbrella at me "sensei, sensei, would you like an umbrella?" I had never met this woman before (that I can remember) but she clearly knew me, perhaps I teach one of her kids. I refused to take the umbrella because I had no way of returning it to her but I thought that it was a peculiarly kind gesture. How many people in Australia would see a teacher they recognise from their child's school and just offer them something like an umbrella! Perhaps it is a product of living in a small town, or perhaps the Japanese are just kinder to strangers than we are in Australia. I'd like to think not. But I do recall several occasions in Australia where I have been very disappointed with people's behaviour. For example once while running for a bus in Adelaide I watched a young woman struggle to get a stoller, an infant, a toddler and a large nappy bag up the steps. Those lined up behind her, mostly middle aged business men, simply stood and watched her looking impatient at being held up. I folded the stroller up for her and lifted it onto the bus (hence skipping the line :) and voila! problem solvered. Why are people so slow to just give a simple helping hand in situations like that?

There are of course other less desirable effects of living in a small town. While Miss BV was here we had the contents of our shopping bags assessed by a man working in the bottle-o. He decided we were having nabe by looking at the vegies we had purchased and when we contradicted him and said "no, Curry." He was all in amazement, "You put mushrooms in curry??" And generally made a big deal about the funny things gaijin will put in curry.

Some of the spazzes I teach at this school...

My birthday cake!

Chocolate chocolate!!

One bottle of red = little or no tolerance of small children the following day.

Freaky behaviour - all in the eye of the beholder

I was just stood up by my year 6 class! I organised some super fun games for them and everything since it was supposed to be their last class. Huh.

Oh well, just means more internet surfing time for me. Yesterday in class at the end of a game I had the winners stand up and do the "champion dance". It's a way of making sure no one gets the shits at not winning because if they DO win they are forced to perform a silly dance in front of their classmates making it not altogether a good thing. The kids were all standing around looking at each other waiting for someone else to start them off so I started dancing around like a dickhead to encourage them. One of the girls goes "How come you're doing such an embarassing dance?" (nande sonna hazukashii koto suruno?), to which I replied "Because I'm not embarassed." (hazukashikunaikara) and she was heaps weirded out! I love freaking the kids out with stuff like that. Especially because they are so easy to freak out. That reminds me of a story my neighbour told me. When he was living in America he once pretended to blow his nose on the inside of his jumper and totally freaked out the girl he was sitting with! I don't think she realises it was a joke to this day.

You said wha??

Ah, so today I was asked again what i thought about taking off from work from March 26th. I asked her if it would mean that my pay would be affected. She said yes, so I said that I would stay until the end. Having 4 days off is not worth losing that much pay over. The kids won't be here so I'll just be reading books in the English room anyway, which is exactly what I'd be doing at home. Might help the time before my flight pass quicker I think. So I am here for 4 more weeks rather than 3. oh well.

I have a small cold today and it has affected my voice for some reason. During this morning's classes I was just whispering at the kids. Actually it works well cos they have to be quieter to hear me. Maybe I should start talking like a mouse all the time? Nah, mousey voices annoy me, can't be doing one myself! Just gonna go home and rest so that I can play soccer tomoz...

Mega Toast

3 more weeks of work. Heheee!

Had a slow weekend. We got around Okayama and did some shopping. Well, I would have done some shopping had I found anything I wanted to buy. I got sick unfortunately and so wasn't feeling much like partying really. Very quiet Saturday night then. We went out for dinner at some pizza place called Mario's or something and it was SHIT pizza. Didn't feel all that full after that so moved on for the second course at another place and then had toast at yet another place. So it was an impromptu progressive dinner. The toast probably needs explanation since it's not usually the first choice when dining out. In Japan restaurants often have the menu in plastic form behind a window out the front. We saw on one plate a HUGE piece of toast. It was basically the same size as your average house brick. We had to have it. We went in, ordered, only to be told that it was sold out! NO! We looked so disappointed that the girl felt compelled to go into the kitchen and double check. It turned out that they did have one piece left so we had our house brick toast after all! It was foul. A huge chunk a white fluffy bread with fake honey (they call it honey syrup - honey with sugar water mixed into it) and butter. We have photos, they'll make it up later on I'm sure.

So that was the Saturday evening excitement. My neighbour had invited us to a party, but we just felt too bushed to enjoy it properly so we just went home and crashed. Sunday was spent doing some more window shopping in AEON shopping mall and watching a horrid film. I guess the lesson learned there is that if the movie is discounted, there's probably a reason for it! This morning Miss BV set off for Oz again :( Now I'm all lonely again. But not for too long. I'm almost ready to pack myself. Still don't have plane tickets though. Not for lack of trying. According to my travel agent, she can't tell me the price of tickets until it's less than a month til my flight. And I certainly can't pay for it until at least a week before I fly. I don't know what the story is there but it seems pretty odd. I just want the tickets in my hand now! Apparently I can leave work on March 27th and I might take advantage of that I think....

Here's a ratio I can approve of...

My fridge on Friday night; Beer/Food = 50/50

My fridge on Saturday morning is a somewhat frightening 1/99 ratio... And there was a fair collection of aluminium in the sink too. How in gods name did that happen?

YUM

Hehe!!

I've had Miss BV at work with me today and yesterday. It was tops fun! Just did classes together and bitched about the kids in front of them and stuff ;) The kids went a little bit mental and were showing off left and right in front of her. In the year 5 class today one girl asked, "If you and Joanne Sensei are from the same country, why don't you have the same colour hair and eyes?" Haha! Where to even start answering that one aye!

Last night we had a bottle of red between us and this morning I was a bit more than sluggish getting out of bed so I will be very happy to get home and relax of a Friday. Plans tonight are for some home cooking and perhaps some visitors - some chat, drinks and all that good stuff. Tomorrow might head out for some shopping and some good food in the big smoke. She's going home on Monday so gotta make the most of the time we have left! I can't believe 2 weeks has passed so quickly, it's crazy! She also fixed my dodgy haircut, it's amazing how much difference it can make to just cut a few strands of hair in the right place. She's now got her head down on the table behind me having a little power nap I think, all tuckered out! Anyway, here's another random picture or two...

Hot jar of sake anyone?

I'm a classy chick.

Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Just had the year 6 Farewell Assembly. Each of the year levels had prepared a dance or song as a present to them. The teachers even sang! I had to say "Congratulations" in English which was very taxing. At the end the whole school formed a tunnel by linking hands and the year 6s had to "walk" through it. The tunnel was pretty narrow at the year 1's end so they were crawling! Heaps funny. Good way to waste a morning really. The graduation ceremony is the week after next. I'm hoping that next week will also be my last English class with them.

I am a starvin Marvin! Better go sort out a lesson plan for tomorrow since that's not so far away now...

An argument and a suggestion

On Saturday I had an argument with a 3 year old. All you need to know to follow this conversation is that ringo means 'apple' in Japanese;

Small Boy Strapped in Abandoned Stroller Blocking My Way in Tiny Clothing Store (hereafter known as SBSASBMWTCS) points at jumper with apple logo: RI - N - GO!
Me: Apple
SBSASBNWTCS: RINGO!
Me: A - pp - le
SBSASBNWTCS: Ri - n - gOOO!
Me: APPLE!
SBSASBNWTCS: RINGO RINGO, it's a RINGO I tell you!
Me: But in English it's APPLE I tell you!
SBSASBNWTCS: What are you talking about? RINGO RINGO RINGO
Me: Apple apple apple
SBSASBNWTCS, turning to the shop assistant for help: You're stupid, RINGO
Me, walking away: OKAY, fine, ringo.... Apple! ;)

BTW - there should definitely be a license issuance situation for strollers or whatever you want to call those things on wheels that contain pissed off kids who are big enough to walk but too small to walk in the direction their parents want them to consistently. Why is it that people thing they aren't gong to be an annoyance to others if they are, say, left in the middle of a narrow aisle? Or parked lengthwise across a bus/train/tram aisle? Why should we excuse their lack of manners just because there is a 'cute' child around? Being in possession of an adorable mini person is no excuse for behaving like a dick and acting without consideration for those around you. Just have a look around and see what inconvenience your stoller placement might be causing others. Just at least try.

Good news all round

I've just sorted it so my visitor can come to school with me as a "volunteer" on Thursday and Friday. How much fun is that gonna be!! Work doesn't seem quite so arduous all of a sudden... Also this morning the vice principal told me that I can finish up work on March 23rd instead of waiting for March 31st as my contract says since the kids will be away anyway! How cool is that!! AND, I think I am going to India in April. heheee

A fun weekend!

How sleepy am I then? The weekend was a bit full on. Although yesterday I did get a chance to catch up on some sleep with a very lazy arvo. Friday I had my half day at work and the kids who I was eating lunch with this week sang happy birthday to me! It was heaps cute. I had brought in some bicuits for them, since that's what I recall happening sometimes when I was in primary school in Oz. I was a bit taken aback by some of the kids' reactions to this though. I had brought enough for one each, while I was handing them out every second kid would say "can't I have 2?" Or "You should have brought us 2 each!" And similar comments. I felt a bit like snatching the biscuit I had given them back and saying "How about none then? How does that work for you?" There was one kid who is a bit of a shit and he was stuffing about pretending not to want anything and refusing to take a biscuit, it was the last one in the packet so I just took it and popped it all in my mouth - he was horrified! I notice that a lot over here. Everytime you try and do something nice for the kids, get them a treat or some such, the vast majority of them simply don't appreciate it. They must be so accustomed to receiving things, gifts and such, that they simply aren't impressed and certainly aren't grateful. It makes you reluctant to do anything special for them in the end.

At 1pm I was freed from the hell hole and practically ran home. Miss BV was waiting for me with beer, nuts she'd brought from home and chocolate!! What a lovely scene to come home to aye! We hopped on a train to Hiroshima at about 3:30 and arrived 2 hours later. We attempted to find me a birthday outfit - ie. new clothes. That plan was quickly thwarted by a variety of obstacles. Japanese fashion being horrid was one, my fat arse was the other (well, comparatively). Feeling a bit peckish we headed for Hiroshima style Okonomiyaki - often described as a savory pancake thing. It tastes fabulous, no one should go to Hiroshima without having a crack at one. You sit in front of the hot plate and they put it together in front of you. Crepe, on top of which they pile the filling, cabbage, bean sprouts, seaweedy stuff that looks like the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag, noodles (soba or udon), and whatever meat or seafood you have requested. I had the meat yaki so bacon - yum.. Then on top an egg which has been fried into a crepe thin circle the same size as the initial crepe, some speical okonomiyaki sauce on top, spring onion and you're set! FAB. Must be eaten with a beer of course. After satiating that particular desire we headed off for an American bar we used to frequent 2 years ago while we were poverty striken uni students, The Shack. We had one drink, whiskey on the rocks, and hit the road - not impressed with the vibe and the crowd in there - not to mention the drinks prices! And off to Molly Malones where we had yummy shots. I can't remember what it was called, but it sure tasted lovely. I ran into a friend there who bought us a birthday round. We had a lot of talking to do and that's what we did for most of the evening. A lot can change in 2 years - and we sure have. Last time we were living in Hiroshima we'd go out of an evening and drink as much as possible as quickly as possible and dance about until all hours. This time we were much more worried about hangover possibilities and had aboslutely no interest whatsoever in engaging in conversation with anyone around us, let alone men. Ah, so this is what getting old is all about...

A relatively early night and Miss BV's first time in an internet cafe. I think she was impressed, and seemed to have a good night's sleep. Saturday was a long day with not much to do but wander or sit about. At one pont we spent 3 hours in a coffee shop without buying a single thing but drinking the complimentary water! Lunch was a much anticipated God Burger which we practically inhaled we were so hungry. I had decided to try and get a haircut finally but that ended in disaster when they gave me something approaching a mullet. The idea now being that Miss BV will fix it for me herself before she goes home. I really do give up. I have given them a really good crack, they've cut my hair probably 6 times... Japanese hairdressers cannot cut gaijin hair. They are friendly, they give you really good service, you get a head and shoulder massage, a hot towel on your neck after it gets strained hanging over the basin - no place in Oz does that unless you pay through the nose - but they just can't get the haircut bit right. So I am back to the drawing board on the growing hair out plan which is annoying.

Saturday night was dinner at a place called Koba. Very comfy bar/restaurant with great staff and fantastic food. There was only 4 of us there but it was a good dynamic and we were all in high spirits after a few reds and I think made a bit too much noise... I received a book of photos of daily life in Japan which were very very funny. There was one photo of a kid falling over that made me laugh so hard. We moved on to a karaoke bar where more people rocked up and brought with them a birthday cake!! We had candles and all! Yummy chocolate cake, how lucky am I! That was a late night and Sunday morning was very very quiet! Straight home for a nap in the arvo and a little home cooked dinner. It's lovely having someone in the house to just cook with and chat to about whatever comes up. Best weekend yet! Miss BV has now moved on to Sendai to visit someone else until Wednesday, but then she is back until next Monday. heheeee

Photos will follow later in the week...

That's gotta hurt

Here is a lady. Look at her legs. Look at her jeans. Look closely. There seems to be a hole. That's caused by the biggest camel toe I have EVER seen. I'm not sure she was able to get those jeans off without surgery... Here's a close up of the toe...
OUCH!

Happy Happy Happy Birthday to ME

Heheheeee! My friend is here, and she's looking gorgeous as ever and we were talking non-stop until she fell asleep (bit exhausting, a plane flight with a massive hangover it would seem;)

Tonight we are off to HIROSHIMA for drinks and dancing and whatever else crops up. YAY!! I'm leaving work at 1pm too so I just have to get through 3 classes and I'm free... Pretty good birthday present nay?

!!

A river

The Countdown Begins

Seven and a half hours til my friend arrives!!!!!

How much better is life when you have a best friend in the same country as you? She'll be in Osaka airport right now, struggling through customs and baggage collection. BOO that I have to be here instead of going to meet her.

Hey! I scored a goal at soccer last night. It was a very tops goal too if I may say so myself. :)

Nut encounter of the religious kind

I had a housecall last night. From a religious nutter. First time that's happened to me in Japan! It was very exciting. I was just polishing off a probably over indulgent serve of pineapple when the doorbell rang. I was in a half a mind to ignore it, but thought it might be my neighbour with some blankets I had asked to borrow. I opened the door to a late middle aged woman who launched into a "Where are you from?" question without so much as a salutation appropriate for the time of day, or an introduction of herself. My reaction was to say nothing and stare at her at which point she started suggesting countries, "Australia? Peru?" I had then recollected myself enough to ask her "Who are you then?". Instead of replying with a name she started crapping on about a religious organisation of some description and pointing vaguely behind her. Aha! A nutjob. Well that's easy enough to deal with. I gave her my best bemused smile as she explained that I might like to put my hand in the air for a few minutes while she checks to see how much bad energy I have going on and what that means for my chance of happiness over the next few years. Yeah, I didn't think that I wanted to do that. I told her that I don't believe in religious hocus pocus to which she replied that it didn't matter if I did or not, it still would work on me (refreshing after all those religions in Australia where if you don't believe you just go straight to HELL). She made a second attempt "Just put your hand up like this and see..." and kept raising her own hand up - like she was trying to get a child to put their pyjamas on, all coaxing me along. She finally twigged that I wasn't going to get involved and just left me with a parting gift - a pamphlet explaining her religious association. That went straight into the recycling. Who ARE these nutters who think that ambushing people in their own homes is a good recruitment method?

Big Wig

This is a picture of my TV. Haha. And featured on the TV is a bloke dressed as a women hosting a variety show. Nice hair. How can I get mine that big? Not to be funny, but I swear there are women getting around with hair that big. Big hair is BIG over here. Most girls my age get around to the supermarket with hair styles I wouldn't even ask a hairdresser to do for me - just way too much effort. There seems to be an obsession with forcing hair to be exactly what it is not. Straight hair must be curly. Thick hair must be think. Black hair must be... orange. Just have your OWN hair! I know this isn't the only country in the world where women can never be happy with what they've got. Why do people insist on constantly dying, cutting, curling, straightening their hair? Just let it be. It'd look a damn sight healthier if it wasn't full of chemicals constantly, then you wouldn't need those bullshit hair products to make it appear healthy. Although that in itself is ridiculous when you consider that hair is dead anyway. How can something dead be healthy? According to all reliable sources ie. those boys who haven't yet become too scared to make randoms comments about women's bits, the only time my hair looks any good (read: sexy) is when it's been saturated in sea water, tied into many small knots and then wind ravaged. The exact opposite of what women constantly tell each other is nice hair. Go figure. Actually it strikes me that a lot of the time what women perceive as a desirable feature is not all that appealing to the majority of men. Odd.

I live in ignorance

Argh!! How disappointed was I last night to discover that through some miscommunication I was under the mistaken belief that my friend was arrving from Oz TOMORROW when she is in fact arriving on THURSDAY. I know it's only one more day. But seriously, this visit has been the one thing keeping me going for the weeks since the winter break and now I have to wait a WHOLE EXTRA DAY. She's leaving Adelaide tomorrow. I can make it I can make it I can make it.

Today the year 6s threw a thankyou party for all the teachers. I was invited even though most of them hate me and the rest don't care. They made curry popcorn. It was yum. Then they had a quiz and I was able to answer one of the word puzzle questions which was heaps funny, everyone was in shock. No matter how many times I do it, no one can ever seem to get their head around the fact that I can read and write Japanese. What do they think we DO when we study Japanese at uni? They don't just learn to speak English at uni (actually for the most the opposite is true), so why would I only learn to speak Jap? I blame the all too large number of gaijin who live here for years but never bother to study the language and as such can carry out decent basic conversations in Jap but cannot read or write it. If you are going to live in a country, you must make the effort to learn the language. No one has a favourable opinion of those who come to Oz and never learn English - why should it be different just because the Japs have a love affair with English and are therefore too willing to excuse ignorance and lack of respect in those who are native speakers of it. Ah, gaijin worship, so very very convenient and so very very frustrating.

Precious cargo

Here are the chocolates I received from the girl at soccer. It was, as everything is over here, wrapped up very carefully in shiny paper with a gold bow and sticker on it. It was a bit disappointing to find so little chocolate in there though! And how about the bubble wrap situation. I didn't realise that choccies were so precious! In case you can't make it out through the plastic, they are wee Scotty dogs. It is of course the thought that counts, but when you think that she probably paid about $5 for it and it is mostly cardboard and bubble wrap... bit of a worry.

What's going on here?

Pounding head. Wobbly tummy. Inability to complete a ...

Yep, she's been out drinking again.

Let's shopping!

This weekend I have such exciting tasks to perform as;
- post home a massive box of books and summer clothing
- get a hair cut (eek)
- buy an extra blanket for the extra futon for the extra person I will have in my house from Wednesday next week !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- sew up the hem of my work trousers which have been dragging on the floor for about 2 months now
- Not talk to any children

Wish I had something more important to do, but the next 2 weekends after that I will be busy busy dancing away the nights and gossiping away the days with The Visitor so I figure one more weekend of nothing can't do too much harm...

But I sure hope everyone else has a better time planned than me!

Hadaka Matsuri

Since it seems likely that I will not be attending the Naked Man Festival - here are some pics off the web that someone else took at some other point in history. Perhaps it's for the best...

Soccer Star

I noticed 2 things at soccer last night.

1) Making a big show of rolling around on the floor in agony after being involved in any minor altercation is not an activity restricted to professional players. And,

2) It's easy to be a good defender when the people you are playing against are too afraid of you to resist any challenge you make for the ball.

There is one other girl playing with us and she is so afraid of getting hurt that all I need to do to get the ball off her is run up to her! She just stops what she is doing and puts her arms up around her head as though she is bracing for a plane crash and makes "eek" noises and ignores the ball. And I guess the guys are mostly pretty good at soccer (for example, they can actually kick the ball in the direction they intend to, dribble it down the field without tripping over it, and also do tricky things like flick the ball over defenders heads) so they their defence is pretty lazy cos they just want to kick a goal. So I am the only one who chases the ball around trying to get it off of people constantly. Even though I don't know what I'm doing, it WORKS because of coures it is harder to kick a ball straight when you have someone trying to get it off you all the time. Defence boys! They so often neglect it.

Last night there was one bloke who copped a couple of beatings from the others. He just kept being in the wrong place at the wrong time and once even got head butted in the snoz! I was excused from giving him any sympathy though by his sookie lala performances each time something happened. The first couple of times he was totally just acting it up, carrying on like a 2 bob watch "Ouch! Ow, ow owowie!" I've seen primary kids take violence better than that! So when he got head butted even though that one really must have hurt, I just laughed. Cry baby.

Ah yes. Recent development at school here; the homeroom teacher of the class I ran into trouble with lats week when I ejected a girl from English has been replaced! Apparently he is taking stress leave and now the head techer and the music teacher are sharing the load looking after that year 6 class until the end of the year. I wonder if the incident last week had anything to do with it? Come to think of it - I haven't seen him back at school since then! Oops.

Naked Man Festival Looms - unfortunately no relation to Valentines Day

I have no words to describe how depressed I am about missing the Fringe Festival this year. I LOVE the Fringe. People get so friendly all of a sudden, and you go out on a weeknight and the city is still awake, it's fantastic. Not to mention all the quality shows. Most of the best ones are usually the el cheapos too so even if you are a broke uni student you can have a good time. Speaking of a good time - I was told about a Naked Man Festival last week. It sounds like hilarious fun, if a little dangerous for the participants (all, as the name would suggets, men though so I am safe). Unfortunately I was too late to express my interest and the buses that will be ferrying people there and back are full. BOO. I am on the waiting list though, so perhaps I will be able to get in on some naked man action yet... If not, I will steal someone elses pictures off the web and put them up here ;) From what I can gather the night entails a stick of some description being thrown from a temple by a priest at midnight into a hoard of nearly naked men (they wear a nappy arrangement, much like the sumo's do) who compete against each other to be the one to plant the stick in a jar of dirt some miles off in front of the town hall. By all accounts it is an extremely competitive and downright violent evening - there is a large cash prize for the one who manages to plant the stick, plus a year's worth of good luck. Apparently the priests also throw out "decoy" sticks so there are some poor sods fighting and kicking their way through a hoard of muddy sweaty men for nothing and they think they have the prize in their hands!

Ah yes, St Valentine's Day. Here in Japan it is a big deal. Of course it is all consumerist driven crap and in true Japanese style, has many rules and regulatations stipulating who should be given what and when. Basically we girls are supposed to give chocolate that we have made ourselves (or at least re-shaped ourselves) to the blokes who mean something to us in our lives. That means not only lovers, but fathers, grandfathers, friends too. And then, a few weeks later on White Day, the blokes must reciprocate. While it is still ridiculous that it should be considered romantic to give a present to someone on a day that has been arbitrarily decided, the chocolate thing I don't mind so much as the expensive jewellery and roses pressure that happens in Australia. Chocolate is cheap, it is yummy, and well, who doesn't want chocolate!! Love is a pretty awesome thing and well worth celebrating, but I say let's not encourage the shops to encourage us to waste more money on something that can't be bought. True romance is free - a note scribbled on a piece of paper and shoved in someone's pocket for them to find later is going to mean far more than a bunch of roses. Flowers are impersonal on a day when they are prescribed. People shouldn't let them (you know who they are, they've been shoving their junk mail in your letter box for the last 2 weeks) convince them that the depth of their feelings can be in any way indicated by the amount of money they part with. That's all.

Bloody hell. I just had to answer the phone here and some guy was talking away a mile a minute and I had no idea what he was on about! It was heaps funny!

Boring

Today I heard a little speech type arrangement about foreigner rights in Japan. I went because I was bored. Unfortunately my situation wasn't improved by going as I remained bored. So I left, came here, and have been watching random episodes of Blackbooks and laughing my arse off (as much as one can in an environment where noise is frowned upon). Ah, Dylan Moran = funny man.

Lately in Japan there was a magazine entitled Gaijin Hanzai (foreigner crimes) published and sold at the Family Mart convenience stores. Some gaijin noticed it, made complaints to various quarters and the magazine was pulled from the shelves. I saw a copy of it today. It features no advertising at all and so must be fully funded by someone with a lot of cash since it is very professional looking, all glossy and stuff, heaps of articles and pictures and so on. The foreigner population in Japan is about 1%. Not sure what the crime rates are, but it would be a fair stretch of the imagination to consider that foreigners are contributing greatly to the crime levels. Personally I have never experienced any blatant discrimination while here, but there are plenty who have. I get the feeling that most who do are from "undesirable countries" like China, Phillipines, Korea and so on. The bloke who was talking today took legal action against the city he was living in for refusing his daughter and himself access to an onsen based upon their appearance. His wife is Japanese so his kids are half, one daughter looks very Japanese, the other is clearly half foreign - she was refused entry but her sister was allowed in. I have heard of places putting up signs saying "no foreigners" and the like, but have never seen it myself. I guess this whole thing is part of the struggle for those long term foreigners in Japan. To me it just doesn't matter beacuse I have no intention of staying here, and no desire to be considered a local anyway. All the people at the speech today were definitely a different crowd to what I normally see; the lifers. People who have been here for more than 10 years, who have spouses and kids here. Good luck to em, I'm just getting out!

In happier news; it is now a mere 9 days until my friend touches down over here to play with me!!! It's all getting very very exciting.

Table Tennis

The class I ate lunch with this week has a very funny situation happening in the room. All the legs of the chairs and desks have tennis balls stuck on them. It is a very amusing sight, but also really quite a good idea. It stops the legs from scraping on the wooden floor and scratching it, and also reduces a lot of classroom noise. Since kids are constantly moving, there is always one chair or another squeaking across the floor, but in this classroom it is relatively peaceful. I say relatively because this particular class has an odd mix of personalities that leads to a lot of tension between the kids. There is always someone fighting with someone and they often turn game time in English into a painful exercise by refusing to play with each other. The girls are the worst, they are always thinking up new ways to piss each other off, or be pissed off an alienate each other. Bloody tough world, being a kid.

Long weekend coming up. Monday off :) Not sure what I will be doing with my time yet. Maybe some dancing on Sunday night. Spanish class on Sunday morning. I do need to get a haircut still. Maybe I will sort that out. AND I have buy my return flight ticket! How exciting is that! I get the price of the ticket returned to me by my employers, but I have to sort it out myself to start with. Too bad they specified an economy ticket...

Thanks!!

Thank you to everyone who has written with their congrats. Heaps chuffed. Hehe!

Yesterday was just a good day in general really. I went with my neighbour and a few other foreigners to play soccer. I have never played soccer before (aside from a few traumatic weeks in primary school) so I basically ran about hip and shouldering people and kicking them in the ankles. It seemed to be a good tactic because my special female gaijin status meant that I was out of bounds for reciprocal push and shove. There were only 2 other girls there and they were pretty quiet about it, just kinda flapping their hands about and watching the ball around most of the time which was a shame. Our team was all gaijin and the other teams were all Japanese. 7 minute games, 5 a side. It felt really great to be playing sport again (even if very badly) and today my legs are aching - a good feeling. Afterwards off to Tree for some beer and takoyaki and a few stories from the foul-mouthed but hilarious bloke from Kasaoka. I have never heard anyone swear so much or so effectively in my life. I think some of the hilarity may simply be due to the accent though.

Freezing, I ran all the way home in my shorts (first time my legs have seen air for WAY too long) in time for a hot shower, re-examination of my test results (to confirm that I had read it correctly and was justified in being elated) and into bed, exhausted and happy for the first time in ages. How appropriate that such a great day should be followed with a pretty average one...

Today I threw a year 6 girl out of my class after she continued talking despite being told not to. Where I come from this is not an unusual way to deal with troublemakers. She isn't a bad kid, she was just trying it on for size and chucking her out for 5 minutes woud have been a good way of ensuring she tidied herself up while also letting the rest of the class know that I'm not gonna up up with that kind of shit. Unfortunately, I am the only person here who has this opinion. The girl in question went walkabout and had a big sulk, her homeroom teacher called the principal to come and look for her and everyone knew about it in 5 seconds and they all started telling me that I'm not allowed to kick kids out of the classes. I found the girl down at the front doors having a sulk and bitch to her mates (who of course knew where she was the whole time) and had a chat to her about pulling her socks up. I don't care if she hates English, I hate teaching it, but it's much more fun if you just drop the attitude. Anyway it's all good with the teachers now, most of the ones who count (principal, vice-principal) seem to think that what I did wasn't that bad and have forgiven me now that we know the girl isn't out somewhere hanging herself (entirely possible here). Everyone knows that class is a bitch to deal with. There's always gotta be one of these classes in every school it would seem!

Quick Note to say....

I passed my Japanese Proficiency Exam!!!!

No time for details now since I am having a HELL of a day. Suffice to say I am pretty damn excited at having a little piece of paper (and it really is little) that says I can offically speak, read, write and understand Japanese.

How much do I rock?*

*Despite all appearance this is NOT a question so please don't feel obliged to answer.

Student population overwhelmed

There's a bloke living in the town next to me who is employed under the JET (Japan Exchange Teaching - or something) scenario. Since that area is pretty sparse in the population area he goes around to several different schools in a week. One school he teaches at is on an island so he spends the whole day there. There are 10 students in the middle school and there are 8 staff members! How insane is THAT! In March the year 3 kids will graduate and move on to High School (off the island I think) leaving the student population at 6*, since there are no year 6 kids in the primary school currently to move up and increase the middle school population. How is this possible? How can a school for a mere 10 kids be running with eight staff members? Why does a school with a third as many kids as the average homeroom class need to have a principal, a vice principal, a maths teacher, a music teacher and office dogbodies? How much money does this country have, and why are they not using it for things like giving the kids grass to run around ( I mean LAWN, not pot, although that would also be quite an improvement on school life), or teaching the kids to stop doing the kancho**. I think this story goes a long way to proving that having more money in your budget does not necessarily mean doing a better job.

* Figures may vary from actual figures but you get the idea. Stories heard when drunk are never going to be retold with much precision.

** Kancho - Japanese child invention involving the use of the index fingers to poke adults in the arse when they have their hands full.

A New Format

OH MY GOD IT'S ALL DIFFERENT!!

Yep, got sick of the old brown blog so have twiddled with a few knobs behind the scenes here and now we are all blue. Matching the blue T-shirt I am wearing in that photo - nice. Even though it's blue, which traditionally would mean "sad" (if this were year 12 English it would anyway), I think it seems a bit happier this way...

A New Public Holiday

Yesterday was Despair Of The World Day in Japan. Did you know that? And today is Reconcile Yourself To Never Knowing The Truth Day.

Done.

I might be a very small person in the world and mean nothing to nothing, but might as well have a crack at enjoying it as much as possible without making anyone else hate it. To which end; I think I might stop using petrol. OK I know that it will be impossible to avoid using motorbikes, cars, trains, buses, planes completely - I do want to get home from Japan without getting wet after all - but it's a decision to minimise the use of all these vehicles as much as possible. That doesn't mean just leaving the car at home when it's nice weather, and walking, but walking in the rain too. That means using a car only when it is absolutely unavoidable. It means not even owning a car, which is my situation at the moment - and I do just fine. In fact, the last year I was living in Adelaide I used my car very infrequently and the times I did, it was only because I was lazy rather than because I had no other options. Living in Adelaide is TOPS for this because it is flat everywhere and this means it is excellent for cycling without too much effort or creating those tree trunk legs that come with pushing uphill constantly... Although, it must be said, it is pretty dangerous at times when car drivers seem to think that bicycles have no right to be on the road and don't mind almost killing someone to prove that point.

Personally I think it would be tops if everyone cycled everywhere. For several reasons
a) Fewer cars on the road
b) Fewer Fat Arses - leading to less heart disease and all Fat related illnesses which cost the health care system a packet every year (supposing we have a health care system for much longer)
c) Less NOISE
d) More people arriving at work with sweaty hair and bum like me.

Think how much happier everyone would be! Healthier in general, less grumpy cos they haven't negotiated traffic jams all the way to work breathing in exhaust fumes. There are LOTS of excuses why it can't be done, but there are no good reasons. I can testify to the fact that it actually takes less time to ride into the city than drive during peak hour. Plus you don't have to pay or look for parking. I say stop thinking why it's impossible and start making it possible.

Just a suggestion.

Do you know that you don't know?

This morning I had one of those dreams where you are doing what you are actually supposed to be awake and doing. i.e. I was supposed to be up getting dressed, eating breakfast and walking to work. I was in fact still snuggled up in my doona snoozing and dreaming away about performing the aforementioned tasks. Oops. Luckily I am a low maintenance thing in the mornings and 10 minutes proved to be sufficient to get me out of the house in good order making me wonder why I bother waking up a minute before 7:22am every day.

It stumps me to explain why I needed so much sleep after spending a great deal of yesterday either unconscious or lying down, as if unconscious, reading. After such an amount of rest, why would one need to sleep in an extra 22 minutes thus forcing her to turn breakfast, hair taming and dressing into a multitasking frenzy. Perhaps sleep is addictive, the more you get, the more you want until eventually you are just comatose permanently. Perhaps that is why we have to work at least 8 hours a day; to prevent us all falling in to comas? There must be SOME explanation for why I need to be at work 9 hours a day when I am only actually working a maximum of 3 of those hours. It doesn’t seem a very economical use of time to me. Why spend any longer at work than you need to? If you can do the job in 3 hours, go home after 3 hours. THAT seems like a greater incentive to efficient use of time to me. Of course here I am not all that fussed about it since even whenI am not at work I am doing sweet bugger all. But upon my return home I expect I will be a great deal busier with many more fun things I would rather be doing than twiddling my thumbs at work because whoever decided that it takes 9 hours a day to do my job was grossly underestimating my abilities.

Yesterday I was reading a book where every 20th word or so was CAPITALISED. It was fun because in my head I was YELLING random words at myself. It was, in a word, a very DISMAL book. As a result of reading it I felt like a very insignificant blip in the universe and couldn't help but wonder what is the POINT of all this? It's not a new thought of course, either to me or anyone else, but still retains its strength in depressing the hell out of me. I mean, we all just keep DYING. It doesn't matter what I do with my life, in the end I will just be dead and that's the end of the story. Keeping that in mind, I wonder how anyone can care about anything, let alone the shit that is cared on a regular basis in a modern capitalist society. But then when I think we will all be dead one day anyway, does it really matter if Miss Must-have-a-Louis-Vuitton-Bag seems to be missing the bigger picture of the world? What is the point of us running around collecting all this information about the world? What is the point of us being wiser, smarter, faster, bigger, better, longer lasting, prettier when in the end it just amounts to dust? Maybe it is better to be distracted from it all by a cute bag? Maybe I would be better off if I never considered my own purpose in this world, or pondered my own mortality and didn't know that none of us REALLY know what is going on here.

Origami - too fiddly

Here's a paper box I folded a few months ago. I was, as I frequently am, very bored one day and decided to have a crack at making some of the origami shapes I had somehow ended up in possession of instructions for. I could only figure out the box so I made several of them, lined them up on the window sill and there they remain; dusty, slightly faded testimony to my malaise. As further proof of my utter ennui I have taken photographic evidence of said boxes and devoted an entire paragraph to explaining their existence. Actually, on second thought they are less boxes and more cubes since "box" would seem to imply that they might at least serve a useful purpose in containing something and such isn't the case.
To complete the picture of boredom, here is me being bored. Perhaps I don't seem all that fed up at first glance but when you take into account the amount of inactivity that must precede the descision to take a photo of oneself as though there is someone else in the room you may well appreciate it. Perhaps it is just a vain attempt to convince myself that I do in fact still exist, something easily forgotten when you have gone several days without a single social interaction to speak of. Or, possibly more likely, perhaps it is to remind myself how desperately I need a hair cut.

And it's worked because now I have started thinking about the tiresome task of finding a hairdresser who won't completely ruin my efforts at growing the stuff longer by cutting too much off in an attempt to make me at least appear "oshare" for 2 hours after I leave the salon. 2 hours being about the length of time my hair retains any of the shape, volume or style a persistant hairdresser can inspire in my locks. The following 2 months are invariably then spent trying to recreate that look to little or no avail whereupon I seek a new hairstyle that is more likely to be maintainable by someone who despises hair products of every description. I have failed in every attempt so far and am being extremely tempted by the idea of shaving it all off. One day it will happen, this I guarantee. One thing only prevents me from doing it right now; the cold. Without hair I know I would freeze in my bed, I already find it impossible to sleep unless I have socks on. Too chilly.

No Tears Today

Yesterday the little girl in my year 1 class who NEVER stops crying stopped crying! It was eerie. She came in a little late with the part time teacher who helps with that class and she was dry faced and quiet, and remained that way for the rest of the lessson, although she did not participate and seemed dazed and confused throughout. Afterwards while she was washing her hands for lunch I stopped by and told her and her teacher that she did a good job today (never thought I'd ever be praising someone just because they refrained from crying when there was no need to, but that's primary teaching for you). She actually spoke to me, I was a little bit shocked to hear her voice since all I usually get is "Whaaa whaaa whaaa" (hmm, it's hard to spell crying), and she said that she was trying extra hard today cos her dad asked her to. Her dad always comes to pick her up when the kids go home because she is always crying too much to walk with the rest of them. The first time I noticed her she was crying in the dirt of the playground because on her way to line up for assembly a bigger kid had ran into and knocked her over, it was the funniest thing I saw that week, she just flew backwards and sat on her arse and started crying immediately, tears flying out of her eyes without touching her face and onto the dirt. Like a cartoon. And she is TINY so the big kid didn't even notice he'd done it! Yesterday she was doing so well that she even walked all the way out the gate with a year 6 kid who is in her walking group and her dad had to go and chase them down the road to get her back. I wonder what happens with kids like that. If this crying thing is something she will grow out of in time to catch up with her classmates academically and socially, or if it is going to be a permanent thing. There are a lot of troubled kids at this school for some reason. Every class has at least one who obviously has learning disabilities or is socially ill-equipped in some respect. But rather surprisingly, there are only 2 kids in the special needs class. I would have expected the special needs class to be about the size of an average homeroom when you look at the behaviour of some individuals here. I wonder what the qualifications are for getting that extra help when so many of them seem to need it.